Our Story
Every “Us” Begins With Two “Me's.” This Is Where Ours Began.
Pairfection.us and Success-in-You didn't begin as a collection of courses. They grew from decades of trying to understand people, relationships, potential — and ultimately, what helps each of us create more of the life we hope to live.
For us, that story is also deeply personal.
This Story Belongs to Both of Us.
For 40 years, Kathleen has been far more than my partner in life. Her intelligence, character, strength and belief in me have influenced the person I have become and the work I have been able to pursue.
She gave me something that is difficult to measure but impossible for me to overlook: the freedom and encouragement to explore ideas, take chances, create and devote so much of my life to understanding people and helping them recognize more of their potential.
Much of what has become Pairfection.us and Success-in-You carries her influence, whether her name appears on it or not.
She didn't ask me to become someone else. She allowed me to be me.
She Allowed Me to Be Me.
Looking back, I realize how closely that reflects the philosophy behind the work we are creating today.
A meaningful relationship isn't about turning another person into who we think they should be. It can create the understanding, encouragement and space that allows each person to discover more of who they already are and more of what they may become.
I could become more fully “me” because of the “us” Kathleen and I created.
It Began With a Desire to Better Understand People.
For more than three decades, my professional life has centered on behavioral science and helping organizations better understand the people who make their businesses work.
Through Global Behavior Companies and our work with PDP behavioral technology, I have had the opportunity to work with leaders, organizations and individuals seeking to understand why people communicate, respond, lead and work so differently.
The more I learned about behavior, the more convinced I became that understanding people could change much more than what happens in the workplace.
Understanding changes what we see.
When we begin to understand why people are different, behaviors that once seemed frustrating or confusing can begin to make sense. That insight became one of the foundations for everything that followed.
The Questions Became Personal.
Our work may have begun in organizations, but people don't stop being people when the workday ends. Over time, conversations began reaching far beyond leadership, teams and workplace performance.
Can understanding behavior help me better understand the person I love?
Could these discoveries help our families communicate differently?
What if young people could begin understanding themselves much earlier?
Sometimes a Purpose Becomes Clear Long After the Moment That Inspired It.
My own parents' relationship became an important part of this story. After 28 years of marriage, my mother and father divorced. My father never truly stopped loving her.
Years later, during one of his extended stays with Kathleen and me, I had opportunities to know my father in a way I hadn't when I was younger. During one of those conversations, he reflected on his marriage and the things he wished might have been different.
That conversation stayed with me.
It left me wondering: What might happen if people had better ways to understand themselves and each other before distance, frustration or misunderstanding became too great?
Love Matters. Understanding Matters Too.
Pairfection.us grew from the belief that relationships deserve more than our attention only when something is wrong.
Two people can care deeply for one another and still see the world differently, communicate differently, respond to pressure differently and carry different expectations into a relationship.
We wanted to create experiences that could help people understand those differences, create meaningful conversations and continue learning about each other through the changing seasons of life.
A Friend, a Mentor, and an Idea That Changed the Direction.
My friend and mentor, Tim Connor, became an important part of this journey during what seemed like an ordinary cookout with Kathleen and me.
Tim shared his 25 Relationship Principles and 25 Success Principles with me. Along with his Success Is a Decision audio series, these weren't simply recordings to listen to — they contained practical, relatable principles about relationships, choices, growth and life.
As I listened, I began to see something that had been missing.
Listen. Learn. Talk.
Begin with a principle. Discover something about yourself and each other. Then use that discovery to begin a meaningful conversation.
Listen. Learn. Live.
Hear an idea. Discover how it applies personally. Then carry that understanding into the choices and life you are creating.
What If We Didn't Wait Until Adulthood?
The more we thought about personal growth and relationships, the more another question kept emerging.
What if young people could begin understanding themselves, their choices, relationships, purpose, money, responsibility and their own potential before many of life's biggest decisions arrived?
That question helped Success-in-You for Teens become an important part of the larger vision.
What if understanding ourselves earlier could influence not only one life — but relationships and generations still to come?
One Idea Began Connecting Many Parts of Life.
What began with understanding people has grown into experiences designed to meet people in different seasons and different parts of their lives.
Teens
Personal Growth
Relationships
Families
Organizations
Generations
For Kathleen.
Success-in-You has become my legacy project. But it is a legacy I want to dedicate to Kathleen.
For 40 years, her intelligence, character, strength and perspective have influenced my life in ways that cannot be separated from the work I have been fortunate enough to create.
She has encouraged me to think, explore, build and continue becoming. Most importantly, she has given me the freedom to be myself while always challenging me through the example of who she is.
So much of what I have been able to become, create and contribute was made possible by the person who has walked beside me.
If Success-in-You helps another person discover more of the potential already within them — and if Pairfection.us helps two people create the kind of relationship where each can become more fully themselves — then Kathleen's influence will have reached far beyond the two of us.
Don
The Story Is Still Being Written.
Pairfection.us and Success-in-You will continue to grow because people continue to grow. Life changes. Relationships change. Families change. Organizations change. And every new season gives us another opportunity to learn.
What hasn't changed is the belief underneath everything we do: people deserve opportunities to better understand themselves, better understand each other and recognize more of the potential within their lives.