Secrets of a Successful Marriage Relationships – Best Tips & advice

After 35 years of having a successful marriage, free from arguments, sleeping on the couch or other incidents that I’ve heard from other couples, I’ve sat back and created these 12 parameters for having an exceptional marriage.

Do like this lovely couple did… Get the final version the functional worksheet at so you can actually rank these 12 factors for yourselves.

  1. Trust: Feeling trusted is a critical component, the foundation of any relationship. Without trust it’s simply a matter of time when a misunderstood comment, an expression of body language or exaggeration with good intention is misinterpreted leading to failure.

2. Life Stress: Life is complicated with children issues, aging parents, siblings, financial constraints and serious health issues just to mention a few. Sadly if not careful, these issues may create a wedge within a relationship. This is where two heads are better than one, talk, discuss, pray together and agree as one, not allowing anything to create friction within your relationship.

3. Personality Issues: Having behavioral clarity means you really know what your partner needs. Guessing does not work, and don’t think you know because you don’t. Until each other fully understands the other, then you’re kidding yourselves living in the Honeymoon phase of bliss and eventually the process is similar to running up hill. Don’t wait to let the years be your teacher because the repercussions are too painful.

4. Anger Issues: The tone of voice is actually more important than the clarity of words. A harsh tone can eventually destroy any relationship, this is one reason why understanding each other’s behavior is so important. Frustration can lead to impatience and eventually anger. To respect someone’s needs is another expression of honor.

5. Honor: When a couple learns how to honor each other, something spiritually beautiful happens. This can easily be described as going the extra step. Thinking about and giving the little things when the other least expects the thoughtfulness. When people feel honored, areas of self-esteem and jealously are less likely. (two examples of how to honor your special someone)

6. Romance & Quality Time: Distractions are too convenient and quality time is more than standing in the kitchen sharing a meal on the run. The celebration of a date night (a couple hours) is priceless. No excuses even those with high energy households need to carve out a recognized weekly event to commemorate their relationship. Seriously, it’s equivalent to blocking out an important business meeting or doctors appointment.

7. Money: Finances are a challenging subject, period, because of many issues, such as two different mindsets, wants and the definition of needs. How someone was raised, their environment what they had, what they didn’t is an internal rulebook. When opposites attract, now what? Typically the behavior of the entrepreneur is an optimistic risk-taker, where the contrary is the grounded one cautiously budgeting, planning and saving. Understand the behaviors and you’ll comprehend the brilliance and struggles of handling money.

8. Communication Issues: Healthy communications are important. When life is good or uncomfortably stressed, a great freedom is released with the conversation celebrating your journey. Naturally some behaviors find this harder than others. (Stress can trigger the misuse of our strengths resulting in communication challenges.)

9. Sex: A lack of intimacy has a tendency to push away. If a person’s needs are not met, looking else where for affection may become attractive. Noticing someone appealing is alluring, the attraction is natural, but be careful and attentive of the second look. It’s the second look that moves from attraction to desirability and lust. Eventually this interested behavior has the potential of opening the door for pornography. Technically if you’re married the second look is adultery. When was the last time you held hands?

10. Addictions: The unawareness of an addiction is dangerous. When these compulsions are openly recognized, the repercussion potentially affects many. There are a variety of addictions and some being more alarming than the other, but still an addiction is an addiction.

Self-control is critical for aligning the exceptional relationship. When you say yes to a craving, you are also inviting the repercussions. Live intentionally, understand yourself and have the strength to accept your responsibilities.

11. Selfless Love: Naturally relationships begin with desirability, then blending physically into a lifetime of commitments. Love is more than attraction; true love is acceptance without comparison or judgement. The secret to avoid feeling unloved is unselfishly giving to one- another. Two people practicing this type of generosity will create a space for two, until death shall we part, enjoying the journey.

12. Cause, Effect & Forgiveness: Certain behavioral differences provide predictable challenges, easily and un-intendedly creating disappointments. The secret to avoiding many of these common repercussions’ is don’t let offenses build up from personalization and/or keeping score. Exercise your mind with the reminder of understanding and forgiveness because we are all imperfect. Openness and humbleness will bridge the emptiness and hopefully any chances of falling out of love.

For a hands-on solution check out this page on our website as an exercise for relationship building and getting your relationship help, learning about each other Side-by-Side.

Best regards with having the exceptional relationship!