10 Are you living in the past or future? – 1:59

Every relationship has its unique share of work, disappointments, surprises, accomplishments, and frustrations. No relationship is perfect. No relationship is all bad or all good. Keep in mind that bad and good are both perceptions. What might be perceived as positive by one couple might be seen as negative for another. As we move through the days and years of our relationships, we can choose to live in the past, what was either right or wrong, good or bad, in previous years, or we can live in the future of what we hope will one day evolve into better days, more love, increased satisfaction, and so on.

There are advantages and disadvantages of living either in the past or the future. Focusing on the past often prevents us from believing that our partner will ever be different or better in some area. We feel that tomorrow will be nothing more than more of the same. Focusing on the future can put a tremendous amount of pressure on both people, as well as the relationship, for what may never be or can never be.

Relationships are dynamic. Everyone is always learning and growing. The external as well as internal pressures and distractions that can take their toll on a relationship are always changing. Children, career or business changes, health issues, in-laws, aging parents, the relentless increasing cost of living in general can all make people in relationships feel what’s the point anymore.

Your partner will be different tomorrow. You will be different tomorrow. The relationship will be different tomorrow. So why do people in relationships get themselves all worked up into a twit because something is going on that they don’t like, they can’t control, they wish would be different. There are six reasons for these attitudes or outcomes: one, expectations; two, personal agendas; three, needs and desires; four, ego needs; five, insecurity; and six, stress.