07 – Relationship’s six T’s. – 3:00

#7 Relationship’s six T’s. – 3:00

I can hear two people beginning a relationship saying that “Let’s keep our relationship, honest, loving, and simple.” Easy words, but often difficult to accomplish. Every relationship has: demands, expectations, problems, disappointments failures, frustrations, anxieties, as well as happy, fun, joyous, and productive times. There are any number of reasons why relationships fail. Here are just a few of the common ones.

First, a lack of a safe environment where people can share real fears, hopes, dreams, frustrations, and fantasies, without the fear of criticism judgment or retribution. Second, poor communication skills, or a lack of clarity. Conversations are filled with assumptions, personal perceptions, hidden agendas, misunderstanding, and a lack of congruence between verbal and nonverbal messages. Third, a lack of understanding, awareness, or acceptance of the other person’s real wants, needs and desires in the relationship. Fourth, always thinking that there is or should be someone or something better out there.

Fifth, a lack of acceptance for who the person really is and who they are becoming. Sixth, the breakdown of trust and or respect in the relationship. Seven, the desire for the other person to make up for some lack that you feel in yourself. Eight, an unwillingness to change, or to accept change. Nine, poor self-esteem in one or both partners. Ten, constant invalidation of the other person. Eleven, seeing the other person’s behavior that you don’t like, can’t accept or disagree with as a fault. Twelve, poor listening skills. Thirteen, a lack of emotional maturity in one, or both people. Always dealing in blame, guilt, anger, or other emotionally manipulative behaviors. And fourteen, the inability to manage conflict successfully.

What can we do to ensure that relationships last longer, are more nurturing, and each person can become all that they can be without earning the criticism rejection, emotional manipulation, or scorn from their partner?

There are six Ts in all positive relationships. If these are nourished, you can go a long way to ensure a life filled with love, acceptance, compassion, and harmony. They are trust, time, touch, talk, tenderness, and truth. Seems simple enough. Doesn’t it? Learn to trust your partner and conduct yourself in such a way as to nurture a higher level of trust. Spend quality time together. Learn the importance of touch. Spend time and intimate dialogue and exchange of feelings, fears, hopes, dreams, wants, needs, and goals. Show the same tenderness for your partner that you do your pet. Always deal in the truth, no matter how painful or difficult it might be.

How is your relationship doing in these six areas? In which area do you need to improve to guarantee lasting harmony and success in your relationship?