04 – You are responsible to people, not for them. – 2:09

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#4 You are responsible to people, not for them. – 2:09

There is a significant difference between being responsible to people and for them. Being responsible for people is when you feel responsible for another’s outcomes, pain, feelings, failure, problems, struggle, adversity, and need satisfaction, as well as their success, joy, achievement, and growth. Being responsible to people means that you know what they are experiencing in life, whether struggle or victory, pain or success, growth, or stagnation, is what they have brought into their life to move to a higher plane. You are there, you care, and you are interested, but it is their stuff, not yours.

A great line I recently came across is, seeing yourself as a victim is to wish that your circumstances would continue. Everyone moves through life with their own personal baggage, stuff, and personal lessons to learn. To be responsible to people is to not attempt to interfere with what they need to learn so that they can move on. To be responsible for people keeps them stuck. Women and mothers tend to take the responsibility for their children and their issues, while fathers tend to take the responsibility to them.

I recall a recent conversation with my folks a few years back. I was having a difficult year. While on a routine call to say hi, when my mom asked how I was doing, I said that business was really tough and I didn’t know how I would survive. Her response, “Where did I go wrong?” Taking responsibility for me and my stuff. When I asked to speak with my dad and he asked me the same question, I gave him a similar response and he said, “Better get your butt out there and hustle.” Responsible to me.

Who do you feel responsible for in your life? Who do you feel responsible to in your life? Another example is the difference between empathy and sympathy. When you sympathize, you feel sorry for. When you empathize, you understand how the person feels, but you don’t get down there in the stuff with them. Empathy helps people grow, while sympathy keeps people stuck. Another way of saying this is that the difference between detachment and disengagement.

Okay, it’s your turn. What is the difference between these two concepts to you? Responsible to is love and action. Responsible for is emotional manipulation.