As relationships mature, grow, and develop, people can sometimes forget that it’s the little things that can have the greatest positive as well as negative impact on the overall quality of the relationship.

I put these in four categories. Little courtesies, little pleasures, little words, and little invalidators. Let’s look at each of these in a little more depth. Little courtesies, these are the common courtesies that many people fail to do after a relationship has reached the taking you for granted stage, such as saying thank you and please and opening doors. Remembering special dates, events, needs, wants desires and dreams. Doing what you say you are going to do whether it is a telephone call or being on time for anything. Being late says what I was doing is more important than you are. One of my pet peeves is people are always late. What an insult. I know, I know there is traffic, last minute somethings, but let’s let these be the exceptions and not the rule.

Little pleasures such as sending flowers, greeting cards, giving inexpensive gifts for no reason than to say you are special. I was thinking about you. Warming up your spouse’s car on a cold winter morning before they head off to work. A back rub and a foot massage. There are a million ways you can say you are special. Get creative, get outside of yourself for once and put the other person in your life first.

Little words, saying I’m sorry, I forgive you. It will be okay. I know how you feel. I believe in you. I have confidence in you. You can do it. I’m there for you. This list is endless. Little invalidators. Things like forgetting to say thank you when your partner goes out of their way for you. Feeling like it is unnecessary to use the word please when asking them for something. Interrupting them while they answer a question you have just asked them or being late for a simple event like a lunch.

How often do you go out of your way for that special person in your life? Why not call someone today and thank them for something? Tell them you care. They are special. You are thinking about them. Why not send a small gift, anything, a greeting card? These acts do not guarantee successful relationships, but they can go a long way in improving them and maintaining them on a positive basis.